AznFier

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    • Name: SilentOne
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 6/10/2004

Weblog

Friday, 20 April 2012

  • Eager for peace

    I have this creeping and persistent desire to just shut out my social life and just be alone.

    I don't like being totally isolated either, I think times like these are when I really wish I had a girlfriend to just go home to.

Monday, 26 March 2012

  • Internship

    Cool, I got a design internship with photography production and I believe I have a financial internship with Morgan Stanley in the Spring. Awesome.

    Although this is not in my line of work, at least I'm finally doing something. On the off note, I may be applying for part-time student status in the Spring since I only have two classes to take and there's no reason for me to take bullshit classes anymore.

    Maybe this is a step towards getting my life together.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

  • Wrong Choices

    I feel like I chose the wrong major, engineering is so boring. If I ever want to design anything, I need a Master's at minimum, or if I were a Computer Science major. However programming is definitely out the window for me, I can do basics but anything worth doing and it's like throwing a buckets of paint at a wall and hoping for a mural.

    Anyways, although Electrical Engineering seems like a sensible choice to do in college, I feel like I have much more fun doing Graphic Design. Hold that thought, the only major flaw is that, I suck at drawing.

    I'm not creative enough, or smart enough. Boohoo.

Friday, 16 December 2011

  • New Standards

    I need to distance myself from people that keep telling me that I'm so smart for being an engineer. It's making me lazy and I fall behind while I'm riding some mythical unicorn of education. I rather have someone push me to work harder and compete with me.

    I just want someone to compete with in relative equal caliber, major-wise.

    Oh, and I just recently got my driver's license after soooo many years. Now I need to save up for a car, or get a job so I can take out a loan and pay for it. I need a car for internships, but of course my father wouldn't acknowledge that.

Tuesday, 06 December 2011

  • Falling Apart

    I could feel myself falling apart; an eerie uneasiness in my heart about life, family, friends, love, pretty much everything. I don't quite know who I am anymore. I would not have predicted who I have become 4 years ago, though I am grateful about everything that I've been through thus far, I feel as if I have also lost something during the process.

    Lately I've been thinking to myself about random topics and to no end, there'd be countless topics that would bring my mood down. I genuinely no longer have a desire to party, I much prefer spending time alone. Even within the presence of my friends, it takes a lot for me to muster up the will to socialize and partake in their festivities.

    I'm so worried about everything.


    EDIT: I feel like I lost a part of myself over summer. I had such great ideas and motivation, where the hell did they go?

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